עֵל חֵטְא

These ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are supposed to be about repentance for transgressions against other people. Yom Kippur is only about atonement for sins against god (or yourself, depending on your understand of things). It’s so cathartic to just write out the things you’ve done in a year you’re sorry for, and to let people know that you want their forgiveness.

In that vein, al cheyt:

For the sin of not calling my sick aunt often enough.
For the sin of not visiting my dying uncle.
For the sin of pretending to be asleep to avoid difficult conversations.
For the sin of not texting my sisters.
For the sin of giving my father a hard time, even when he’s tried his best.
For the sin of lazily handwaving on homework to save a few minutes,
For the sin of piling onto twitter bandwagons.
For the sin of using sarcasm as a substitute for humor.
For the sin of trying to be funny instead of compassionate.
For the sin of enjoying myself instead of taking care of others.
For the sin of bragging at my own accomplishments, instead of praising others.
For the sin of wallowing in self-pity, even when things are going well.
For the sin of being in-authentic online or around friends.
For the sin of ignoring tradition for the sake of convenience.
For the sin of laughing at times I should have cried.
For the sin of abandoning principle to save face.
For the sin of staying silent in the face of others’ oppression.
For the sin of looking too hard at numbers instead of people.
For the sin of not forgiving those who have seen the error of their ways.
For the sin of not speaking up when I hear people being mis-gendered.
For the sin of setting my goals too high, even though it will mean a burden on others.
For the sin of not taking care of myself, and being grumpy about it.
For the sin of letting others waste hours so I can save minutes.
For the sin of not doing my part to achieve tikkun olam.
For the sin of willful ignorance for the sake of momentary bliss.
For the sin of knowing all these transgressions, yet waiting until today to atone.

This is my litany of woe. May I have a chance to be better in the new year.

.שנה טובה‎‎