Two weeks ago, I started work at Tumblr. For the first time in my life, I’m working on a team. Not only am I working on a team of iOS developers, but they are incredible. I’m really enjoying the hours that I spend at work, but there’s ultimately something missing.
I’m one of twenty-two (I think?) interns, but none are on my team. I like all of the people I work with, but they’re all older than me, and it shows. They all have people to go back to at the end of the day; they have lives outside of work. At the moment, I don’t. I have an apartment in Little Italy, but all my friends are back in Chicago or in Scarsdale. I’m in my favorite city in the world, less than a mile and a half from the coolest office I’ve ever worked in, and yet it still feels like I’ve jumped off a cliff.
Unfortunately, I haven’t hit the ground yet. I don’t think I will until September, when I pack up again. And I think that’s part of the problem. I’m on my own for the first time, and I can’t even settle down because I’m uprooting again so soon. I’m incredibly excited to be facing these new frontiers, but it’s still scary. Going off the beaten path means it isn’t obvious what I should be doing. It means I don’t know who to turn to when things don’t feel right. Hell, it means I don’t even know what’s supposed to feel right. I know that, generally speaking, I’m headed in the right direction. But there are just so many new things facing me; I’m unsure of how to make all the little things fall into place.